The Mafia's Resident Hitman
by dododoobird
Summary: All is well in the mafia, Jones may be a loose cannon but he can be handled. At least until the Vargas family's grandfather gets kidnapped. (Written from Hitman Jones's perspective. Rated T for safety and it's a mafia au, what did you expect. It's just shit, but it's good shit. I think. Give it a try and please review, tell me what's wrong with it and what you like. Have fun!)
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: I wrote this in school and it's super cringy, there's more and I will post it if you want**

 _A gun? Matches? Gasoline? A bowtie? As well as a cowlick? Unrelated? No, most certainly not. "It was one man!" "You're crazy, one man couldn't do all that!" the voices shouted. Chuckling as the lights went dim and laughing at the screams and flickers. Chuckling while turning the lights back on and walking down. "This should be painless, just stay perfectly still." A sigh as they squirmed and a quick bang until they were squirming no more._

Cleaning up had always been tough but I was lucky, there was an incinerator. No blood had been shed, well almost. A bit of re-wiring and done! Now the control panel looked like it had blown up! The gasoline would be soaked in to the carpet by the time the guards figured it out, I hadn't planned on using a gun but a mop is easily found. Simple: No witnesses, no blood, no body, no clue.

I got into a car and drove back there, back to what I call home. The errand boy met me at the door and asked if they could bring my gun in, little guy was always so excited around guns so I tossed him it and told him "leave it in my room dude!" I turned and saw the boss... shit... "Sir, great to see you!" "Cut the polite talk, you ran an operation without my consent I could kill you right here" he said. He wasn't kidding. The second in command walked over and said "let it go. Jones can just stay in a room with Ivan." The boss looked pissed as hell, as usual and shouted "fine! Go see Ivan, Jones!" I looked at him, horrified "SIR YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! THAT COMMIE DEMON'S EVIL!" I shouted but was waved off by the boss "you don't want to be like Miss Liz now do you?"... "no sir."

I entered Ivan's room. He was waiting on his red chair. Like he had expected me. He might as well have had a cat on his lap and been petting it. I didn't say a word, just sat down on the floor far enough from him. An hour in there felt like a year and he tried to talk "Jones, how are you? It is good to be seeing you Мой маленький орел" I shuffled away and he came closer. Usually I could tolerate the asshole and sometimes we got along but I had a shitty day. He put his hand on my shoulder and just then, thank god, my alarm rang for 1 hour. I bolted out fast as I could and saw Kiku in the hallway.

Kiku was my boyfriend since... I don't remember but it was some time in the past. While I was still a newbie. "Kiku! Something terrible just happened!" I yelled. He turned and smiled... but said "I am not Kiku ~Datze, I got you good huh? ~Datze!" Kiku's younger brother... dang they looked similar. It was a pretty good prank so I laughed it off, he told me Kiku was in his room. I rushed over fast as I could.

I remembered what happened last time I barged in, getting tazed is never fun so I knocked. No answer, I knocked again, No answer... Suddenly I got a text message on the messanger app Kiku and his brother designed. "#45 axis street business park, all can come." I needed to get there fast and I remembered that Gilbert had parked his motorcycle on top of the roof, 1 floor up and the ground floor was 2 floors down... I ran up and Gilbert yelled "AL, DON'T YOU DARE STEAL MY AWESOME MOTORBIKE AGAIN" but by the time he got there I was already on it and speeding off the ramp, how he knew I was stealing it? I dunno? Albino sense maybe? While I was in the air I saw Liz's gang members were driving off. Cool, good to see she's alive.

Liz's gang used to be in with us but she left and all it took was a drunk Gil shouting "Girls can't run a fucking mafia! They can't even kill anyone! The only person worse than a girl is your fucking husband!" Gilbert still refuses to apologise, not that he could get close enough to do so. Elizabeta won't come back, I miss her... She taught me to fire a gun, to dispose of a corpse, to woo a target (male or female) and other skills. She was like a mom to us.

I arrived at number 45 axis street business park and parked up the motorcycle. The first thing I saw was Kiku writing down something, I went up to him and shouted "Kiku, I missed you!" He turned and smiled but he looked sad "Alfred kun, I missed you too" he said, just as polite as usual. "So what the hell's going on" I asked. The boss walked up "Jones, it's the Vargas family. Their grandfather has been kidnapped and you're to tend to the children."


	2. Chapter 2: Liz

_**Authors note: thanks for all the reviews and reads, I will try post as much as I can!**_

Kiku drove us home, the two boys, Feliciano and Lovino were in the back of the car but they weren't crying. Feliciano just looked broken, like he had no tears left and Lovino seemed indifferent but there were two dark lines running down his cheeks. The radio was off and nobody was talking, I was used to silence but never this kind. I was alone with silence back then but now... it's just eerie...

When we got back Kiku and I were given the job of intergrating the brothers, their grandfather had been protected by our group so it would only be right. We may kill but we have standards and morals. We all agreed that I would stay with Kiku and Feliciano and Lovino would take my room since I had a bunk bed. Once the brothers were ready I went to Kiku's room and laid down on the spare futon, he wasn't comfortable with us in the same bed usually. Later in the night he got up, went to my bed and slept there. He must have been really upset.

In the morning we got up and I checked on Feliciano and Lovino. Neither were up yet so I told them "rise and shine, we're going out for breakfast before we start work" trying to be cheery. Lovino flipped me off and fell out of the top bunk "fuck you bastard" he said, slurred and tired. Feliciano got up after I said breakfast, I guess food motivates us both. We went out to McDonalds and ordered breakfast, I paid for it all despite Kiku's protests. We ate until we heard a familiar voice. The McDonalds was almost empty. Good.

Looking up. Seeing her, seeing Liz. A gun in hand. Reaching down to a gun and gripping it. Squeezing a boy's hand and motioning for two to get under the table. Nodding and watching. Waiting. Scared. Silence stricking the room. It appeared to be nobody but the employees and 3 others. A woman and 2 men, no 2 boys. Hearing the bell ring and door close. Letting go of the boy's hand and looking out the window. Breathing. Finally breathing.

I looked to the boys and told them gently "it's safe now, the danger's gone" but I still had a hold on my gun. She never taught me that trick, to scare others but damn was she good at it. Disappearing though, she taught me that and we are both experts. Always have been, always will be. I looked to Kiku and took a deep breath. "Who the fuck was that?" asked Lovino "did she have anything to do with us?" asked Feliciano. "That? That was... Nobody you need to know of, it's just her territory" I answered, trying to sound confident as possible.

We got back in the car and drived quickly away, well as quickly as Kiku was comfortable with. I turned on the radio and took out my phone. I made a request for a favourite song of mine. The man at the radio station answered quickly 'sounds good, 2 minutes'. those 2 minutes pass quickly and I smile. I look to Kiku and the music starts 'you'll never take us alive, we swore that death will do us part, they'll call our crimes a work of art'. We grin at eachother, our song, our music, our story. 'you'll never take us alive, we'll live like spoiled royalty, lovers and partners. "Partners in crime." "Partners in crime".

The building looked so much less daunting when there were people walking around happily, and when it wasn't 2 in the morning. I saw the little errandboy excited and poking something on the ground. I walked over and asked "hey Peter, watcha got there?" he stood up, backed away and showed me it. A small gun, perfect size for a little kid like him. I turn on the safety and hand it to him "ask Ludwig to teach you to shoot it. Just don't turn off the safety until he tells you to." I grab Kiku's hand again and we walk in, the two brothers bickering behind us.

I head up to the boss' room and drop in a note 'had breakfast in McDonalds, small encounter with Liz' it read. I figure that they should know that much of what we did. We let the boys play in the mess hall with the newbies while we went back to the room, Kiku had a job and I had research to do. I quickly check the files in his cabinet. The next target or targets was all I needed. I check through and spot a target, a young australian girl who's to be brought back alive, bounty of... 3... just 3? Then I see it. It's given in by Peter. I'll tell him not to set bounties later, for now I just lie down and play a game Kiku showed me called Purrfect.

 _ **Author's ending note: Purrfect is a game that does exist, it's super fun. It's a clicker cat game and the song Partners in Crime is pretty cool, there's a Haikyuu! animation if you like that.**_


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